"We learned to bring meaning into uncertainty and chaos by maintaining grounding practices and developing new rituals. Rituals have been instrumental in building community, promoting cooperation, and marking transition points. Rituals reduce anxiety...and even work on people who don’t believe in them, research shows. Additionally, rituals benefit our physical well-being and immune-system.”-Ari HonarvarChalice

Routine has been a big buzzword lately -- now that our routines have been thrown out the window and families are trapped at home together. We are told again and again how important it is to have routines and social media feeds are awash in color-coded schedules. I am finding that routines are hard to stick to when everything is changing so rapidly, when there are so many unknowns, and when I want to be involved in so many different things. And I am trying to practice compassion for myself and everyone else. It is okay when the routine is upset. It is okay to make mistakes (thank you for your patience during online services!). It is okay to just be -- without a routine. 

There are elements of my days that I am sticking to -- even if they don’t happen at a regular time. When I have a free moment, I am going out for a walk. Our dog is getting more exercise than ever! When I am feeling overwhelmed, I stop what I am doing and breathe deeply. When I am not burned out on screen time at the end of the day, I try to call someone I love to connect briefly. 

Rituals have brought me a great deal of comfort during this time. Having a set of intentional activities relaxes my mind and allows me to focus back on what matters. Even though on some days, I only meditate for 2 minutes, it starts my day with calm and intention. During story time at 4 pm, I light the chalice and anyone who is on the call checks in with each other; these simple rituals are settling. When we sit down to dinner, my wife and I share something beautiful or inspiring from the day. 

I invite you all to incorporate rituals into your day and week. Below, you will find resources for 20-30 minute rituals. There are also directions for making your own chalice and writing a chalice lighting so that you can use it daily for rituals. 

“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing.  We think the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved.  They come together and they fall apart.  Then they come together again and fall apart again.  It’s just like that.  The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen:  room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.” - Pema Chodron

This is a time of great uncertainty. Without a roadmap, we can respond in so many different ways -- with fear, anxiety, anger. However, we can also choose to pause, be present, notice our feelings and connect deeply with one another through this time. We can create our own roadmap, based on our values and principles. There are new opportunities for us in creating our own map and coming together to care for ourselves and one another at this time. I hope that our community can provide the support that your family needs during this time. How can we best support you and your family? 

Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me to talk and connect: Jessica Harwood, This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it., 584-1390 x 203

 

Beloved Community: Anti-Bias Education for Children & Youth at USNF 

aaron burden 1zR3WNSTnvY unsplash“Beloved community is formed not by the eradication of difference but by its affirmation, by each of us claiming the identities and cultural legacies that shape who we are and how we live in the world...We deepen those bondings by connecting them with an anti-racist struggle.” -bell hooks

As an educator, it is my inclination to emphasize all the ways that we are similar and get along; as hooks says, I want to minimize difference. Yet, the rest of the world seems to be rapidly dividing into incompatible silos. While I still want our kids to connect meaningfully with each other, I also want them to know what to do when connections breaks down -- either interpersonally or because of systems of oppression and inequity.  How do we teach children the skills to learn to work together across difference and interrupt injustice in themselves and their communities? 

Bit by bit, in our religious education program, we are trying to raise children that are proud of their identities and who can also celebrate and appreciate diversity. As we progress through this year with a focus on anti-bias education, we hope to give kids the tools to talk about race, class, privilege, bias, and discrimination and to feel empowered to take a stand against bias and injustice. These goals build on each other and will guide the RE program this year (and every year, for that matter): 

Goals of Anti-Bias Education 

  1. Each child will demonstrate self-awareness, confidence, family-pride, and positive social identities
  2. Each child will express comfort and joy with human diversity; accurate language for human differences; and deep, caring human connections
  3. Each child will increasingly recognize unfairness, have language to describe unfairness, and that, and increasingly how, unfairness hurts
  4. Each child will demonstrate empowerment and the skills to act, with others or alone, against prejudice and/or discrimination

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,drawing 2
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
― Gandhi

How did you develop your values? How do you live out your values in your everyday life? How do you help your children to clarify and develop their values?

The Coming of Age class has been exploring their values this month, with activities that would be great for families to do together at home (thank you to Dave Junno and Peg Johnson who helped to develop and implement this activity). 

  1. Create a list of values. For younger kids, the adults might create a simple list ahead of time. For older children, you can generate the list together. You might want to use the 7 Principles of Unitarian Universalism as a jumping off point for brainstorming values.
  2. Make sure everyone understands the values. Even just talking about what justice, kindness, integrity, or empathy are can lead to really rich conversations. 
  3. Think of a hero and explore which values that person demonstrates. How do they live their values? This is a helpful way to think about the meaning of the values and how people can live their values.
  4. Now think about each person’s personal values. Have each person narrow down the list of values to 3-5 that are most important to them. Discuss why they are the most important. 
  5. Brainstorm how you show your values in your everyday life. 

Faith Development over the Summer 

“In the mind of the beginner there are many possibilities, in the mind of the expert there are few.” (Shunyru Suzuki)

Religious Education ends on June 16 and summer childcare starts the following week, every Sunday from 10-11.
joel bader 478853 unsplashYou can spend the summer celebrating the UU principles and traditions with your family. Use these ideas to help you embrace your UU identity together. Let it be a guide to inspire you!

Summer Chalice
If you don't already have a chalice in your home, create one out materials you already have in your home. What are the pieces of a chalice that make it important? Do some research and discuss as a family why the chalice and flame is the symbol of our faith. Does knowing that history make lighting the chalice each Sunday at church more meaningful? Why or why not?
Activity: Choose a night each week to light the chalice before dinner. Take turns choosing quotes to share with the chalice lighting.

Here are some quotes to choose from:

  • We light this candle to remind ourselves to treat all people kindly because they are our brothers and sisters. ~Anonymous  
  • We light our flaming chalice today for the place of quietness and holiness within each of us, and for whatever helps us to feel peaceful inside. ~Ann Fields & Joan Goodwin

Table Grace
Bring ritual to your meals together. Start a meal with a table grace. 

Here are some graces to choose from:

  • Earth, who gives to us this food, Sun, who makes it ripe and good, Dear Earth, dear Sun, by you we live. To you our loving thanks we give. ~Anonymous
  • Goddess, bless this food you have given me. Let it be filled with your divine energy so that I will be healthy and live a long and happy life. Goddess bless! Blessed be! ~Sirona Knight  
  • Loving Spirit, be our guest, dine with us, share our bread, that our table might be blessed and our souls be fed. ~Gary Kowalski

Reading Together
Choose a book as a family that you will read together over the course of the summer. How did you choose this book, and why? Who, in your family, chose it?  As you read the book together, consider which UU principles come up in the book. Discuss what you learn about the principles and how the lessons from the book inform your lives.

Book Suggestions:

  • Out of My Mind by Sharon Draper
  • Wonder by R. J. Palacio
  • The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate
  • Inside Out and Back Again by Thanha Lai
  • A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
  • A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park
  • Dexter the Tough by Margaret P. Haddix

Environmental Awareness and Stewardship
Discuss the 7th principle, Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part,  and what it means to each of you.

Activities: Start a notebook for your summer outdoor activities. Use sketches, writing, or collected objects to remember those moments you felt closest to nature
Take a walk through your neighborhood. What do you notice? What do you wonder about? What trash can you pick up for your community?

When the 7 Principles of Unitarian Universalism are translated into “kid language” the second principle is “Be Kind in All You Do.” This is a lofty goal for kids --- and folks of all ages for that matter! As we explore the theme of Generosity this month, it is a great time to work together as a family to cultivate kindness in our gifts, our actions, and interactions. kelly sikkema XX2WTbLr3r8 unsplash

You can notice together all of the acts of kindness that you take part in or witness. Talk about how it feels to give a gift and how it feels to receive a gift. What is the best gift you have received? What makes a gift meaningful? If you did not need to worry about money, what gifts would you get for others?

Consider how you can give to others without needing to spend money. What does it feel like to do something for other people? Brainstorm together different things you can do for each other, for friends, or for other people in your community and try to intentionally do something generous together once a week. 

Donating money, food, and used items is a meaningful practice for young people. Perhaps it is time to sort through books and clothes to donate items that you are not using anymore. The holiday card fundraiser was a great success and the kids were so proud to be able to support causes that they care deeply about. The students raised over $300, which they are donating to the Holyoke Soldier’s Home, Grove St. Inn, Shriner’s Hospital for Children, Northampton Survival Center, Muddy Brook Farm, Endangered Species Coalition, and Hampshire HOPE. Some families have a donation jar to which everyone contributes and then chooses a cause to send the money to when it is full. 

Offering gratitude is a generous act. Practice truly thanking each other for all that you do to contribute to each others’ lives. We are grateful for all that each of you brings to our RE program!

Wholeness

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” -Ralph Waldo EmersonMoon

The Religious Education program is looking forward to exploring wholeness this month. How can we support and nurture each individual’s sense of wholeness and our connection to a larger wholeness? We strive in our faith formation program to honor the worth and dignity of each child and to give them confidence to be themselves and share their gifts. We also want our children and youth to feel like they are an important part of the community beyond themselves -- our classes, our congregation, our community. I invite you to connect with a young person this month and see if you can remind each other that you are whole just as you are and that we are a whole as a community.

anthony intraversato 5WYkd62XxTo unsplashWhen I asked the 4th through 8th grade class about the culture that they want to create in their class, one student responded that they want it to be welcoming to everyone. Is it? I asked the students to imagine what it might feel like to walk into the class if you are new, from a different culture, with a different communication or learning style. 

We had a similar conversation at the Board and Coordinating Council meeting this month: can we be aware of our own culture in order to be more welcoming and inclusive? There are subtle practices that I am trying to keep in mind - like leaving more wait time for people who think before blurting things out. According the Jen Mattias, cultural humility is an attitude or approach which calls you to be willing to suspend what you think you know about a person and to be open to learning from other people directly about their personal culture. Can we all learn to exercise cultural humility and compassion in our groups and communities?

Compassion is like a muscle -- it develops more the more you work it. As parents, caregivers, educators, and mentors, we can help young people develop compassion by modeling it, noticing it, and practicing it. Over the past month, the K-3 and 4th-8th grade students have been practicing “heartfulness” as their mindfulness ritual. Heartfulness is also known as Metta practice in Pali or loving-kindness meditation and is one way to teach compassion. It involves sending messages of kindness to yourself, loved ones, strangers, and all beings everywhere. It can help to build understanding and compassion for others - no matter who they are. Here is an example of a heartfulness meditation to use with your kids (or yourself!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9X6tkUXa9o.

Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, 'You owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky. -HāFIZ

I have been pondering our monthly theme, trust, trying to figure out how we develop it in ourselves and with each other. How do we teach children howngaere woodford bender 304101 unsplash to trust themselves, who to trust, and what to do when trust is broken?  Trust is a way that we live our free and responsible search for truth and meaning. As we search and seek alone and in community, we learn what to trust, how to heal when trust is broken, and how to adapt to new situations as they come our way.


The students are at a point in the RE year where they have gotten to know each other, our routines, and rituals. I hope that we have built a sense of trust -- we do not owe each other, but we are growing love and light, as Hafiz says. I was looking at the elementary RE covenant recently and realized that it looks an awful lot like classroom rules, not a covenant or a testament to our spiritual community. We are missing the heart of the document -- the why and what matters. We are at a point to more fully embrace the 7 Principles. I am not sure how we will do it, but I trust that the class will guide the process.

Charlie19"The great end in religious instruction is not to stamp our minds upon the young, but to stir up their own….In a word, the great end is to awaken the soul; to bring understanding, conscience and heart into earnest vigorous action on religious and moral truth, to excite and cherish spiritual life." -William Ellery Channing

Lately I have been having a hard time using the term Religious Education (RE) to describe our program. In large part, I have observed that people are turned off by the idea of religious education or have a limited view of what RE is. What words better encapsulate this notion of stirring up minds, awakening the soul, and inspiring action? How can we invite new families into this endeavor if they have been turned off by religion in the past?

In my first year as the Director of Religious Education, the RE Council worked on clarifying our mission and vision for the educational and spiritual work that we do at the Unitarian Society of Northampton and Florence. This was a helpful process to guide our work with students of all ages and I think we clarified the actual work of our religious education program. The visioning process is ongoing though, and I have been enjoying conversations with families about what they envision for their children and themselves in their spiritual and UU educations. Please let me know if you would like to talk about our education program’s mission and vision -- for any age.

Mission Statement

Religious Education at USNF engages children and youth with lessons, activities, community service, and events which exemplify the Seven Principles of Unitarian Universalism.  RE brings together community members of all ages to learn, grow, grapple, celebrate, and serve together.

Vision Statement

Religious Education at USNF is:

  • a primary hub through which members of the congregation develop a robust and affirming sense of self, community, and faith.
  • a nurturing environment in which members of the congregation become religiously literate by exploring Unitarian Universalist history, principles, and values, and gaining an appreciation of our neighboring faiths. 
  • an affirming community in which all members feel valued, and become invested in valuing others.
  • an incubator for personal and communal work for social justice.  
  • a space where children and youth experience safety and radical acceptance.

“So many things are possible just as long as you don't know they're impossible.”

-Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

When you play, anything is possible. You can be a princess or a dinosaur! You can travel through time and space! But it turns out that play opens up so many more possibilities. Play teaches kids to make and keep friends, resolve conflicts, build confidence, learn healthy risk-taking, and develop problem solving skills. When kids direct their own play, they get more exercise and are injured less than when they are involved in adult-directed play. This seemingly obvious and necessarily trivial part of childhood actually turns out to be amazingly beneficial and increasingly rare.IMG 0859

So, how can we make sure that kids are playing more? Where can we find the precious time to just let them collaborate and create with each other? I am hoping that we can include this in our smorgasboard of faith development offerings. If our goal is to help kids and youth develop skills to be kind to one another, value themselves and others, learn and search together, and build a fair and peaceful world, it seems like play is a brilliant strategy for teaching these principles. Not to mention the ways that playing together (particularly outside) helps us to learn to care for our planet earth and realize that we are all connected in an interdependent web.

I want to try offering a Play Club from 11:25-12:30 on Sundays after RE. Some weeks we will be outside, some weeks we will be in the social room. Every week, the kids (of all ages) will get to be self directed, with access to games and arts and crafts supplies.  We will need 2 adults to chaperone. Other parents can take the opportunity to have a break.

When I consider offering a play club after religious education, I get nervous that it might just not be possible. What if I can’t find adults to chaperone? What if no one comes? However, the possibilities of developing kids that have a sense of ease, creativity, and leadership make the risk seem worth it. If you are interested in helping to make play a possibility at USNF, please send me an email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

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